I think I just saw someone hide a body.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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