Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
