So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
