he wants to bone in the snuggie
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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