HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize