well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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