Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
