yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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