ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize