I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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