I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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