please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
FUCK WHALES
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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