My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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