Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
