oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
