a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
