so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
