Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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