When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
