It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
