i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
