atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
