Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
