it wasn't lemon gatorade
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
