weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
