I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
