Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's Friday. Sex?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
