I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
