He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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