Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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