the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
