And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
