South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
