I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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