Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
