Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
