Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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