Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
MIDGETS
????
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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