we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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