Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
