what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
