There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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