im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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