Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
