I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
His nipple licking is glorious
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