I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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