Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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