I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
