You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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