So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
