I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Acid is not a monday night drug
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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