On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
