She announced her abortion via fbk
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize