Since when is my name a synonym for head?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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