do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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