so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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