woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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