i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
