Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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