He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
