I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
