Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
