I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
