so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
