i permit you to call me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
