it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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