Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
