Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
